Psychology & Mediation Services

Anne-Marie Box, Psychologist

Parenting After Separation

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Tips for Parenting After Separation

1) Do not expose children to conflict
If there are problems on “change-overs” figure out a better way to handle them (i.e. – using a “contact centre”, getting assistance from friends or relatives, organising pick up and drop off at school where possible). If phone calls inevitably lead to conflict resolve not to talk when the children are around. Most important, respond to verbal attacks by being unwavering in your commitment to be kind and gentle and respectful.

2) Prioritise your own emotional stability

Take care of yourself, because your children know if you are struggling and it makes them fearful and insecure. Try your best to eat well, sleep well and exercise and don’t feel guilty about having fun, going out or having time to yourself. Individual counselling can be a powerful tool for people going through separation, as can things like meditation and yoga. [Read more…]

Three Ways To Deal With the Loneliness

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“Only the lonely know the way I feel tonight…” Three Ways To Deal With the Loneliness.

By Gail Desilets, M.A., M.S.

OK, so you are divorced now. You have gone through all the emotional hell and legalities and done the best you can with the decisions that have been made. Maybe you didn’t like the idea or maybe it was your choice, but what’s done is done. For the most part you are doing OK. You know you need to move on and you are trying your best. You have reached out to your friends and family and they have done their best to comfort you and give you hope. You are doing OK…but EVERYTHING has changed. [Read more…]

Using Positive Psychology in Your Relationships

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3 wrong ways—and 1 right way—to respond to good news from your spouse

Close relationships is one area of life where using positive psychology can make a big difference. According to Shelly Gable, associate professor of psychology at the University of California-Santa Barbara, an important key to understanding a relationship’s strength is how it works in good times, not just whether it withstands the bad. Gable has been researching what goes right in close relationships for years. By studying hundreds of couples, she’s found that when romantic partners disclose positive news, how the other reacts matters—a lot. In fact, partners’ reactions to each other’s good news can better predict the quality of a relationship—and whether it will endure—than can partners’ reactions to bad news, says Gable. [Read more…]

Surf Your Way Into a Good Mood

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Catching waves for 30 minutes can help you feel more positive

For his master’s thesis at California State University–Long Beach, Ryan Pittsinger, a lifetime surfer and native of Manhattan Beach, Calif., surveyed 107 surfers after a 30-minute session in the waves and found that positivity and tranquillity increased significantly while negative mood and fatigue decreased. Pittsinger shared his study results at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association in San Diego in August. He also offered his observational findings on how surfing can help veterans overcome symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, the subject of his Ph.D. research in counselling psychology at the University of Iowa. [Read more…]

Sisters Bring Happiness

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Parents spend a lot of time dealing with arguing and other nastiness between siblings. But having siblings can save teenagers from negative emotions, and encourage them to be more kind and generous.

“As a parent, it’s really good to know that sibling affection is related quite strongly to helping, generosity, kindness,” says Laura Padilla-Walker, a professor at Brigham Young University who studies the effects of sibling relationships. “We often don’t see them [as] a protective factor.”

Padilla-Walker studied 395 families that had at least one child between the ages of 10 and 14, interviewing family members twice, one year apart. The study, which was published in the August issue of the Journal of Family Psychology, found that having an affectionate teenage sibling helped younger teens avoid feelings of loneliness, guilt, and self-consciousness. [Read more…]